you always had and always will be my dream

Sorry for leaving my blog hanging almost a year. 

It made me sad whenever i have to open this blog. But i tried to get over it.

So after these months , i finally get to open it with any problem. 

Recently, i had a lot of things playing in my head. I kept asking myself, am i doing the right thing?

it used to be so fine , and now it starting to crumble down . I hate to be happy. why? it doesn't last at all. I hate it when the reason i smile is because of you .ain't it obvious enough for you? 

IGNORANCE is what you give me now. I should have IGNORED you from the start. I should not help you. i should not listen. Am i even regretting it now?

Everything i do, everything i did just remind me of you.  How can i even turn back ? i should had leave and ignore you like a coward. 

yes, it HURTS a lot. what am i even going to do ? it's so hard for me to walk away. Even though i know i cannot stay. I should have listen to my friends , but i was so stubborn . I miss being a tourist, FLY-ing everywhere in the airplane, seeing the world , letting my mind ease and go. what am i going to do with you? 

accept the fact you ignore me? or.... ?