Tuesday 15 May 2012

im so lost . im so broken

God, please stop treating me so bad .
i understand you give things equally .
but it hurts alot to have this feeling everyday .
i need to smile when im not happy , stand my tears when i wanna cry ,
pretend to be alright when im actually so broken .
you made me thought you weren't there for me anymore .
i pleaded you for weeks to save my relationship . please dont take it away .
its my only wish .
im tired of crying . my eyes got worsen since i cried everyday .
friends ask me why i wouldn't smile .
i tried everything cause i know i cant wait .
i tried my best to be better but i cant understand what i did wrong to deserved this .
don't test me . i really love him .
i really dont want to loose him if its possible . i know may is a very bad month not only to me .
what should i do ? i used to say i dont believe in love .
i would never fall in love with a person ,
now ? what am i doing ?
im making myself too much not like myself anymore .
even when i hurt myself , it doesnt even feel pain as much as my heart . i cant understand .
what wrong did i do to deserve all these pain ?
issit wrong to love someone you love so much ?
i know love is never perfect .
june is coming . but will it last ? i keep praying .
i almost lost everything last night . i keep thinking .
im so lost without him . even he is with me . but its different from last time . :'(
he no longer cared about me .
why ? why ? why ?
he used to say , he wont leave me . now ? it ends up almost leaving me .
dont pity me please then come say love me.
will everything be better if im gone ? :']
cox im bringing suffering to him , peoople and myself .
................................................

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